As we observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month, one important question remains: What can we do about violence against women? How can families protect their loved ones from abusers? The numbers are staggering. Over 25% of aggravated assaults in Detroit are committed by an abuser well known to the survivor of intimate partner violence.

The first step is to educate ourselves. Engage in respectful observation and recognize the signs and symptoms of abuse, as many forms of abuse go beyond the physical. Be trauma informed; recognize the insidious brutality of what victims endure for a myriad of reasons, including economic ones. Often, the abuser is the primary breadwinner, controlling the money coming into the household. If there are children in the home, many victims believe it’s in their best interest to keep the family together. Engage in deep listening that is compassionate and devoid of judgement. Don’t blame the victim or openly criticize the abuser.

Criticism and judgement causes victims to shut down and lose confidence in themselves. Don’t give up on them; remember that survivors of domestic violence don’t know that they are worthy of love. When they feel supported and encouraged, it helps them develop the courage necessary to make a change. They are embarrassed by what appears to be an inescapable situation and are mired in shame-based thinking.

Remember that the shutdowns during the COVID-19 pandemic put victims at further risk of being in isolation with their abuser with no relief or respite from a relentless assault on their psyche. Make a plan. Consider holding a family meeting to develop an emergency safety plan designed to keep everyone safe from the abuser’s violent outbursts. Employers can even devise plans to keep survivors, and their co-workers, safe from the abuser who may show up at the worksite unannounced.

There are more strategies on safety planning posted at [https://ncadv.org/personalized-safety-plan].  JEI continues its mission to help make the community safe for survivors and their families. Referrals are welcome!

With the help of our partners at the Wayne State University Center for Urban Studies, Urban Advocacy Corps, and the Detroit Police Department, trauma informed advocates are mentoring domestic violence victims who are seeking to make a positive change.

Persons in need of help and support can reach out by calling our domestic violence advocates at (313) 334-7922. 

Written by Krystal Fields, JEI’s Director or Clean and Safe Programs. To contact Krystal, email: kfields@jeffersoneast.org or call (313) 314-2628.